AW: Re: whose business is it? - at work

Well then, > She doesn,t check in with other team members to check they are not > having problems or need assistance during the day If you think that's that important, you do it. And I am not saying you *have* to clean up her mess. But it's you who sees a mess. She seems to be find with how things are going. You don't like the way she cleans her dishes? You go clean her dishes. Because it's you who sees a problem. I hear you see somone in need of help (her team member). And you don't helpthat person (which is against your nature - hence the bad feeling) - and you wait for someone else to help. Someone who - as you see - obviously doesn't care. Who's busy caring about himself. Do you even tell her to help her team members? Or do you observe? Sit with it and find if there's something - anything, even the tiniest bit would help - that wants her to fail. And if you can find a way to help her - how unreasonable that may be to you. Not to help her, just out of curiosity. Just investigating yourself. > She does not do any long term planning, so training needs are not > being met > she is not disciplining the team when required, instead going for > the "miss popular" approach Be sincere - wouldn't you like to do that, sometimes? Doesn't it feel good to be "miss popular"? Is this whole thing about "oh, she is going the easy way and cheating instead of playing by the rules"? Compare how you feel about her with how you feel about people who don't play along your rules. Everything allowed including money, lifes, even board games. See what you can find. Write it down if you like. Get to find out something new about you. And really have a look at who you are at the moment. No fear, no shame, no guilt. Get naked. For your eyes only. Well, share what you like. > Taking a longer than permitted lunch break, but in her defense she > often starts early and works late So what is this? A pro or a con? Can you see a little effort on her side? Or are you trying to hide that, because you don't want to loose the feelings you have about her? I used to do that a lot. And it took me quite some time to see that. Occasionally, it still happens. Worst time was when my (now ex-)wife was - do youuse that term? - adultering me? (having an affair). I even tried to show more pain than I was actually having when she was around to make her feel worse! I don't know how I would react today. Maybe take her in my arms, saying something like: well, if you love him, try to be with him. I love you too, and you will have to move out. - whithout experiencing this fear and incompleteness in my heart. > I am gone for varying amounts of time, few hrs to a few days, most > weeks > Dawn By the way: could you find someone else who would be better suited to do the job? It is important (for your peace) that you find your part, your investement in this whole thing. Have a look at any egoistic investement you have in this. How little it may be. Anything that keeps you from doing the best you could - no matter how honorable that reason may be. Love, Alexander Gesendet von Yahoo! Mail. Mehr MЖglichkeiten, in Kontakt zu bleiben. Yahoo! Groups Links To visit your group on the web, go to: Your shop settings: Individual shop | Traditional To change settings online go to: (Yahoo! ID required) To change settings via shop: To Purchase from this group, send an shop to: Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to:

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